Test Avoider Pillows

'My dog ate my homework, so I couldn't study for the test. So, as his punishment, he'll be taking the test for me.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

Fire Alarm: This won't get you out of the 2:00 test, Billy! - Ms. Jones

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

The Procrastinatorium.

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

Danger Signs.

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'He's sleeping nice & peacefully - Lets wake him up for his obs.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

The dog that does the homework...

'I'll tell you why math is important - it lets us count the days till school's out!'

Driving Test Centre: Letters and Bribes.