Driving Test Avoider Pillows

'I'd prefer to do my test on foot.'

Driving Test Centre: Letters and Bribes.

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

Former Auto Crash Dummy. Replaced By Driverless Car.

Safe driver.

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

Big bumpers.

"Don't let this one take any cars out for a test-drive!"

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

D.I.Y ladder

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'He's sleeping nice & peacefully - Lets wake him up for his obs.'

"Accelerate forward into that brick wall."

How was my emergency stop?

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

'It's HIS fault, he was doing the speed limit!'

'It doesn't work...'

'That's for letting my wife pass her test yesterday - this morning she crashed my car!'

'Well? Did you pass?'

'Would it matter if I was on the phone reminding my daughter not to drive while talking on the phone?'

'To be honest, the only reason I don't leave her is because she takes my penalty points on her licence.'

"I don't care about the test. Put the bloody breaks on!"

Seat belts - The giving of life.

"This? Oh it's to catch cyclists who ride on the pavement."

"... Have you passed?... Well, just let me move these five traffic violation tickets that you picked up, out of the way and I'll check your score."

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."