Drive Avoider Pillows

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

Crowded Ice Fishing

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

Sawdust.

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

Big bumpers.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

D.I.Y ladder

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

Danger Signs.

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

"Gah! Too many people!"

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

"This? Oh it's to catch cyclists who ride on the pavement."

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

Driving Test Centre: Letters and Bribes.

Mountaineer finds a computer at the top of the mountain.

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'Our company drone found you on the golf course yesterday after you called in sick.'