Ac Avoider Pillows

'My A/C is broken.'

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

Sawdust.

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

Big bumpers.

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

D.I.Y ladder

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

Danger Signs.

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

'Joe doesn't like the sun... he prefers the shade!'

IRS...Please, let's not quibble over a few dollars!

"This? Oh it's to catch cyclists who ride on the pavement."

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

'Levi! Think of the environment!'

'FOCUS, people, FOCUS!'

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

Ant banging on his roof with a broom up to football players stomping around above him