Medical Test Avoider Pillows

'He's sleeping nice & peacefully - Lets wake him up for his obs.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'I'm terribly sorry, I don't have any time now. Please call my secretary to make an appointment.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

'Where'd he go, nurse?'

The Sedentary Dead.

Do' you have the time?'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'The doctor's office said you cancelled your appointment and put a restraining order on the rest of them.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'