Task Avoider Pillows

The Procrastinatorium.

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I virtually finished my homework."

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

"Alert security, the buck has failed to stop here and is loose in the building."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

'I don't like to waste time. How long on average does it take a recruit to make general?'

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'It's 42 degrees outside, Eddie. Do you still think global warming burned up your homework?'

Student at bookstore advertising used books advertises used homework.

"No, you can't hire a temp to do your homework."