Domestic Task Avoider Pillows

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Billy strip: help with homework.

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"I virtually finished my homework."

'I've been doing well in school lately, so I think I'm entitled to some dumbing down.'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

The Procrastinatorium.

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

"Somehow, my wife pinned me to her taskbar."

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'It's your night to catch dinner.'

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

"Sorry Mrs. Tate. There's no cure for Not-Taking-Out-The-Garbage-Itis."

"Hahahaha! Oh, you are hilarious! Help you with your math homework … hahahaha!"

"Marie has been planning for my retirement for years."

'It's 42 degrees outside, Eddie. Do you still think global warming burned up your homework?'

"No, you can't hire a temp to do your homework."

Student at bookstore advertising used books advertises used homework.

'I couldn't do my homework -- our electric pencil sharpener broke down.'

'I love to watch them going round and imagine Fred in there with them.'

"No homework. My teacher saw a squirrel outside the window, the bell rang and..."

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.