Domestic Chore Evader Pillows

"My dishwasher isn't working. He got fired yesterday."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

The four housemen of procrastination

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"

'It's your night to catch dinner.'

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

Why do chicks dig vampires? They're forbidden, immortal. They have unimaginable strength. They visit at night, bringing wisdom and sensuality. And if they don't take out the trash or mow the lawn you can burn them to death with sunlight! Yikes. They can get housework done while I sleep.

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

"Sorry Mrs. Tate. There's no cure for Not-Taking-Out-The-Garbage-Itis."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"They don't look like the tools you'll need to put the kitchen shelves up with!"

'Got'a be done I s'pose.'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"May, I don't care how wet the toilet seat gets, I turned the water off last time."

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

Risks for the heart patient Unloading the Dishwasher "Sorry? No can do." Answering the Land Line R-R-RING! R-R-R-RING! N-nope R-R-RING!!! Doing Taxes "Doc said I should take it easy." Any Car-Related Errand "The old ticker."

"It's my "To-Do" list if I ever get the energy..."

"Not to complain but you promised to mow the lawn."

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

"Unfortunately, my wife knows me like a book. She's a librarian."

"The cat cleaned the birdcage."

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

"Well, it will just have to wait."

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'