Lazy Chore Evader Pillows

"You need to put the bin out, Malcom."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

The four housemen of procrastination

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

The Procrastinatorium.

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

'It's your night to catch dinner.'

"Sorry Mrs. Tate. There's no cure for Not-Taking-Out-The-Garbage-Itis."

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

Why do chicks dig vampires? They're forbidden, immortal. They have unimaginable strength. They visit at night, bringing wisdom and sensuality. And if they don't take out the trash or mow the lawn you can burn them to death with sunlight! Yikes. They can get housework done while I sleep.

"Okay, everyone...time to clean up the house. Gracie, what job do you want?"

'She's spring cleaning and you?'

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

"They don't look like the tools you'll need to put the kitchen shelves up with!"

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"We have a lot in common. We both hate homework, vegetables, bedtime, chores, long car trips. . ."

'Got'a be done I s'pose.'

Man to lady regarding 'Resistance Exercises' book: 'No thanks. I've been an expert on resisting to exercise for 20 years.'

'I'm tired of cleaning the erasers, Mrs. Myers -- can I debug the educational software instead?'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"May, I don't care how wet the toilet seat gets, I turned the water off last time."

Risks for the heart patient Unloading the Dishwasher "Sorry? No can do." Answering the Land Line R-R-RING! R-R-R-RING! N-nope R-R-RING!!! Doing Taxes "Doc said I should take it easy." Any Car-Related Errand "The old ticker."

"Unfortunately, my wife knows me like a book. She's a librarian."

"The cat cleaned the birdcage."

"It's my "To-Do" list if I ever get the energy..."

"I have an app that does my exercise for me!"