Household Avoider Pillows

"With my tech skills, I just feel my talents would be wasted on mundane tasks like taking out the trash, cutting the grass and cleaning my room."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

Sawdust.

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'Alice are you dating me only because you don't feel like cooking?'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

"There's no point us both barking."

"Can you please be quiet for a few minutes?"

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"Just more Junk Mail."

Hiding from unwanted visitors.

I came up here because I got tired of being targeted by advertisers.

"My new glasses can see every speck of dust. That's why I don't wear them."

The new, improved "Hide-A-Dysfunction" Slip Cover

Wheel of Dinner

"Me, I'm not nocturnal by nature, but by choice: I try to avoid human-contact as much as I can..."

"Not now—I'm cooking to avoid intimacy."

Fear of housework.