Family Avoider Pillows

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

Hiding from unwanted visitors.

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

The Amazing Man-Spider

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

Nervous at a party.

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

Beware... the Piñata of Adulthood

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'He always breaks away from the Church on Sunday mornings.'

"We came early to avoid the conga line."

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

'I hate networking.'

'I roll over and play dead when I don't want to see someone.'

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

'Keep the windows closed. We don't like to encourage office romances.'

'My brother hates school. He won't read in captivity.'

"I've decided...there's no way I can throw a party while I house-sit for my Tia Zulema. I just know she'll find out about it."

"I think you're using lawnmower repair to avoid intimacy."

'There's no workplace romance here. This is a mom and pop store.'

'Look, they definitely don't want to go back to school.'