Relationship Avoiders Pillows

"Row faster, Manny- I just spotted my ex."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

Desperate employees escape through bosses high-rise window. 'Hurry! His meeting is almost over!'

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

'Is he expecting you?'

"Not having to go into the office every day has really cut back on pointless meetings..."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

"I did say I wanted to get married, but that was a false positive."

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Er, hello dear, can I help it if the poor girl is hard of hearing?' (gulp!)

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

"We came early to avoid the conga line."

"It didn't work."

'Can I get a refund if we break up before Valentine's Day?'

"He's lying! Just like all men! Oh God, mother was right, I'm never getting married, am I?"