People Avoider Pillows

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"Me, I'm not nocturnal by nature, but by choice: I try to avoid human-contact as much as I can..."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Crowded Ice Fishing

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"We're going to see my family. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we never get there."

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

Nervous at a party.

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

Big bumpers.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

D.I.Y ladder

'I'd like to request flexible working to avoid my family.'

"Don't tell the boss, but I'm leaving early to beat the traffic."

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

Danger Signs.

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

"Back to face-to-face working, lad? I think not! Be off home with you!"

"Gah! Too many people!"

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

"We came early to avoid the conga line."

Not in the mood for human interaction line

'I roll over and play dead when I don't want to see someone.'