Audience Avoider Pillows

Nervous at a party.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Crowded Ice Fishing

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Tarzan no want computer."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"Regarding earnings guidance, as my mother used to say: 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything'. I'll be shutting up now."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

2016 Policlicks

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"Gah! Too many people!"

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'