Audience Avoider Gifts

Nervous at a party.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Crowded Ice Fishing

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"Tarzan no want computer."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

'Honey, I would love to go out with you, but I feel like an idiot at all your friends' parties. The conversations are always way above my head.'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

Welcome Sufferers of Stage Fright

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"Regarding earnings guidance, as my mother used to say: 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything'. I'll be shutting up now."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"Oh good, there's nothing on."

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

2016 Policlicks

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

An agony of aunts