Publicity Avoider Gifts

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

Nervous at a party.

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'I'm going to prescribe for you to stay away from the news on TV and all social media!'

"I'm not getting out of bed. What's the point? Things keep getting worse every day. Even my toothbrush depresses me... I'll just continue sleeping until the world comes to its senses." "Amen."

Election Cancelling Headphones

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

Dream Advertisements.

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

The Occupy a Barstool Movement.

2016 Policlicks

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"I envy you, not having any idea of what's going on these days."

"We came early to avoid the conga line."

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

'I roll over and play dead when I don't want to see someone.'

'The news on tv is SO depressing, I've decided to stop watching it.' 'Is that permitted?!'

"Oh my God have you seen this sh-"

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

"My insomnia is getting worse, doctor - I can't even sleep now when there is a party political programme on television."

"At last — no Trump."

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

'Okay. If this new TV's as smart as a computer, where's the 'Skip Ad' button?'