Cleaning Avoider Pillows

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'I put a dab of Pine-Sol behind each ear and my husband thinks I've been cleaning all day.'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

Sawdust.

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Tred carefully mill.

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

'Why can't you do that while I'm on the golf course?'

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

"But this is the way we've always done it."

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

The pair of socks waited confidently in the corner, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens, no one ever suspects the socks.

'Yeah, I guess I have kind of let it go.'

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

"Tia Carmen, don't they say that we're made of dust?"

"You're in my laundry's favorite seat."

'You want a plastic bag, for one tin of peas? Why don't you use your hands to carry it home? After all, they are reusable and friendlier to the environment.'

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

'My last book did not have a happy ending. I had to pay a fine.'

"Me, I'm not nocturnal by nature, but by choice: I try to avoid human-contact as much as I can..."

Healthy Eating Centre Notice - Keep off the grease.

"With my tech skills, I just feel my talents would be wasted on mundane tasks like taking out the trash, cutting the grass and cleaning my room."

Fear of housework.