Housework Avoider Pillows

'Make my day. Tell me about all the jobs I don't have to do around the house.'

"My new glasses can see every speck of dust. That's why I don't wear them."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

A DIY disaster.

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

Washing Line Walker

Serious Putty

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

'But you said to clean my room.'

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

'How should I know how things are at home, I moved into the pub a month ago.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

Sif instantly regretted asking Thor to hang the picture.

Billy strip: help with homework.

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'