Test Avoider Gifts

'My dog ate my homework, so I couldn't study for the test. So, as his punishment, he'll be taking the test for me.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

Fire Alarm: This won't get you out of the 2:00 test, Billy! - Ms. Jones

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"That was one of the hardest exams ever. I don't think anybody got a good grade."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

The Procrastinatorium.

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Danger Signs.

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

'He's sleeping nice & peacefully - Lets wake him up for his obs.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'