Terminal Illness Support Gifts

'Just in case, I want you to shorten your Bucket List down to just one thing that you can do in this room.'

Passport to eternity

Window Treatment

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'I don't know who I am. I have a donor heart, a donor kidney, a donor liver,a donor cornea, a donor lung...'

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Euthanasia Clinic

Tom's last day.

Patient jumps out of window.

"...Well, yes. There is some good news... If you believe in reincarnation."

'Mr. Figgs - any door with doctor on it - knock-go in-smile-sit down-poor out your woes.'

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

"Let's run a few tests and see where we are."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'I'll let my colleague explain.'

"Why don't you let me be the judge of what is or isn't normal."

"I'd like to make a list. What do we kick when we die?"

Freud's Bar: Introspection Hour.

"There, there. Try to remember how much he annoyed you."

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

'My claustrophobia is getting wrong.'

Lab Rat Rehab.

"The test results were inconclusive, we should know more after the autopsy."