Dealing With A Terminal Illness Gifts

'Dying? Me?? Ridiculous! In my position I've got people who relieve me of that kind of thing.'

Things to do before you die...

"Turned up last week, keeps asking for my husband."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Euthanasia Clinic

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Tom's last day.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"...Well, yes. There is some good news... If you believe in reincarnation."

The Sunrise of Vaccines

"First day out of bed?"

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

'By 'fight the good fight' I don't mean you fight against it.'

'I'll let my colleague explain.'

"I'd like to make a list. What do we kick when we die?"

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

Stay apart & stay happy

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"I suggest you say your final 'I told you so'."

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

"The test results were inconclusive, we should know more after the autopsy."

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

"I'm the spirit of the present Christmas but don't worry... in your case the appearance of the ghost of the future Christmas is redundant."