Dealing With Terminal Illness Gifts

"He won the right to die without dignity."

'Just in case I want you to shorten your bucket list down to just one thing you can do in this room.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'I'd like to go raging into the night, but I don't feel up to it.'

"The test results were inconclusive, we should know more after the autopsy."

"I wish I'd spent less time with the family."

Assisted Euthanasia.

'Well - You finally got here!'

A wife is reading about funeral directors at her husband's hospital bedside.

'Last week my husband thought he was dying. This week he will know he was.'

"They say a person would die in 68 days on Mars."

"There is no why here."

Euthanasia Clinic

"Here comes one of life's little luxuries! Assisted dying."

I walk towards death

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Tom's last day.

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"First day out of bed?"

"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"

The Sunrise of Vaccines

"...Well, yes. There is some good news... If you believe in reincarnation."

'By 'fight the good fight' I don't mean you fight against it.'

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

'I'll let my colleague explain.'

"I'd like to make a list. What do we kick when we die?"

Stay apart & stay happy