Telemedicine Consultant Gifts

"The doctor will see you now. Look up at the surveillance camera and tell her what hurts."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

HUAWEI 5G

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

06 Congressional Record.

'This little piggy went to the doctor's office and went 'ouch, ouch, ouch' all the way home. I just made that up.'

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

Hanging out your shingle

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

Data security officers run frantically out of reactive data security room, while another data officer relaxes in the predictive data security room.

Computer whisperer.

"Cardiac day patients?"

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

Proctology Clinic 'The Endoscope is Near.'

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'