Telecoms Lawyer Gifts

"Nobody told me the 'cutting edge' would be quite like THIS!"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"We've been cancelled."

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Data From a Truck

HUAWEI 5G

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

'What does the internet have against my people?'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"Well, at least one of us passed the emoji eye exam..."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Networking

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

'Wrong number. Sorry, I dialled my salary by mistake.'

'It's engaged.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"We've induced the stem cells to grow into a fully functional, organically embedded communication device. We're calling it a 'cell phone'."