Telecom Troublemaker Gifts

"Guess how I got even with the telecommunications industry today."

'We are unable to complete your call as dialed. Please remove your mittens and dial your call again.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

"Careful! He knows computers."

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

It was her last day so Mary decided to find out something that had bugged her for years: what the button with the skull & crossbones was for.

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

"No, not that button!"

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

Explosion - "About the computer, try to remember the last three keys you pressed."

Networking

"Don't embarrass me again, spell-checker."

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

"You idiot. How many times have I told you not to text while flying?"

"The secret of time management? Never take anyone off hold."

Error: Out of memory.

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"The Help Desk guy says to try Ctrl-Alt-Delete....!"