Teenager Tamers Pillows

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Toys in the DVD Player.

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

Mood Swings.

'Beware of the teenager.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

No cell phones, tv or internet for a week. It's creepy. What's that annoying sound? Silence? It's awful. I can hear myself think!

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'None of the other things had instructions.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

Babies

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

I can't believe what I see phobia. 'This is your new flying traffic reporter. I think I'm dreaming.'

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

'… and another thing … the only reason you know it's my birthday to begin with, is because we were all born on the same day!'

The pop-up book of fighters

"So what's your definition of 'love'?"

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.