Teenager Tamers Gifts

'Getting my children to get out of bed and go to school was hard - So I bought a cattle-prod...'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Toys in the DVD Player.

Mood Swings.

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Beware of the teenager.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

Babies

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

I can't believe what I see phobia. 'This is your new flying traffic reporter. I think I'm dreaming.'

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

The pop-up book of fighters

"So what's your definition of 'love'?"

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

'… and another thing … the only reason you know it's my birthday to begin with, is because we were all born on the same day!'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."