Teenager Milestone Gifts

Net Bubbie

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

Social Networking.

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"