Teen Milestones Gifts

'Could you ask me how school was later? Right now I'm off-line.'

"I'm proud of you...you're reaching that age where you're thinking about the future...you're making decisions about your life, what you want to do, what you want to be..."

"You should have told me you needed advice."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"Sign my yearbook?"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

One!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Social Networking.

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Sparkler

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

Eagle parenting.

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'