Adolescent Milestones Gifts

Teenage breakup.

'All of a sudden all they care about is boys...and make-up.'

'I think he's beginning to notice girls.He's washed his face without being asked to!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Social Networking.

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

Sparkler

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

'What do you think you're up to?'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??