Teenage Milestone Gifts

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

Parenting Wonks

"When I do act my age, you accuse me of being immature!"

"'Baldo, why did you do this?'...'Baldo why did you do that?' The trouble with being a teenager is that nobody understands me! And that includes me."

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

"You know, we're not getting any younger...I mean, pretty soon, we'll both be 16."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Social Networking.

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Sparkler

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Eagle parenting.

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"