Adolescent Milestones Pillows

Teenage breakup.

'All of a sudden all they care about is boys...and make-up.'

'I think he's beginning to notice girls.He's washed his face without being asked to!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

One!

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

Social Networking.

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

'What do you think you're up to?'

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??