Teen Milestone Pillows

Girl to mother: 'Don't call me a teenager. From now on, I want to be referred to as a pre-adult.'

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

"C'mon, Dad. A cool car isn't for running errands...it's for driving around to impress girls!"

Mark my words...you will grow into your horns! I bloody well hope so.

Social Networking.

"Well, looks like his teenage years might be over: he's cleaning his room..."

"Lesson number one about the birds and the bees. . . it doesn't take nine months to download a baby."

"There! Just like I promised if you passed. . . a new set of wheels!"

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"He's gone goth"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'At lone at last.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

One!

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."