School Milestone Pillows

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

'Please sir, I did give you the correct answer. But, you gave me the wrong question.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

School boys sitting test.

'The good news I got an 'A' in School Lunch.'

"Look, Dad! My report card: all zeroes1"

"It's not a bad report, Dad. I passed everything except chemistry."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

One!

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

Social Networking.

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??