School Milestone Pillows

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

'Please sir, I did give you the correct answer. But, you gave me the wrong question.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

School boys sitting test.

'The good news I got an 'A' in School Lunch.'

"Look, Dad! My report card: all zeroes1"

"It's not a bad report, Dad. I passed everything except chemistry."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Social Networking.

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

It was time for Junior to learn to fly.

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

Parenting Wonks