School Year Milestones Pillows

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Sign my yearbook?"

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

One!

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

'An actual History lesson is set for June...'

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'Trade you lunches?'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

'I've lost 2 pounds thanks to the new healthy school lunches. I don't eat them.'

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."