School Year Milestones Gifts

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Sign my yearbook?"

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'An actual History lesson is set for June...'

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'Trade you lunches?'

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

'What do you think you're up to?'