Educational Milestones Gifts

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"When did she start crawling?"

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

One!

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

Sparkler

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

'What do you think you're up to?'

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

It was time for Junior to learn to fly.

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

'The good news I got an 'A' in School Lunch.'