Educational Milestone Pillows

"Now, remember, be the yourself we talked about."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'Tom passed a major bench mark today. His official file is now taller than him.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

Tenacity trumps everything!

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

Space for Lease.

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

Sparkler

Eagle parenting.

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Don't be a dummy, Justin - You gotta learn your ABC's so you can Google stuff."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

"I'm too old for baby limas."

They were American tourists, visiting gay Paree...and yet this was a Mexican stand off??

It was time for Junior to learn to fly.

"They're secret service. They appeared the day Billy decided he wanted to be president when he grew up."

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

'Yes, your son does ask questions in class but they're always 'Can I have the hall pass?'.'

Parenting Wonks