Teenage Milestones Pillows

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

"You treat this house like a hotel!"

"Yes, daddy, we're almost to the driveway...No, Daddy, Tommy hasn't tried anything yet!"

"Heavy date tonight, Pop! Heh heh. Wonder if I can borrow the antlers?"

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

Scooter Romance

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

Sugar And Spice And Full On Drama

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"Sign my yearbook?"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Social Networking.

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Eagle parenting.

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

Sparkler

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'