Teenage Slang Pillows

'A little bird is tellin' me that you has bin dissin' your parents, init?'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

City centre pub.

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"Thank you. Now we'd like to do our big hit -- I Can't Wait to be 16'."

"So what's your definition of 'love'?"

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"Does your client wish to plead 'sweet' or 'lame'?"

"Give me a hug!"

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

The school's security staff began to think Fred was deliberately taunting them with his latest body piercing.

"What is it with you and your baggy clothes?"

'I don't care what your friends are doing. You're not leaving this house until your fix your label, young lady!'

"Wow, that was short. You only talked for 45 minutes. What happened?"

"We check your eyesight and hipness. Your hipness rating helps us determine how stylish your frames should be."

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

'Nothing much. Just waiting for the internet to tell me what I'm supposed to like.'

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

'If men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, I'd like to know what planet he's on.'

The kid who learnt about math on the street

'Problem. I've had a puncture.'

'Dad, I've beached myself again: Can you come and pick me up?'