Teen Banter Enthusiast Pillows

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

The Art of Bantering!

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'You're looking well.'

"I was listening at the door and I overheard the nickname they have for me."

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"I don't know—my gut tells me I should have another beer."

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Of course my wife understands me-that's why she's divorcing me!'