Teenage Pregnancy Gifts

I wanted to be a barrister or solicitor but now I want to be a burden on society

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"Is this birds and bees chat going to take long, I'm late for my pre natal class."

"Mum, Dad - I've got a shock for you: I'm pregnant."

"If you have to ask if they come with batteries, then you're too young to have a baby."

'School Outfitters, now with maternity section'

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

I must pay attention in sex education class...

'Thank God! We thought you were obese.'

'I'm pregnant.'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Child Support: 'Under name of father you've put Dunno Somebloke - is that an ethnic name?'

"I'd love to be a stay at home mum, but I'll get into so much trouble if I miss any more school."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"He's gone goth"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'