Teenage Daughter Gifts

"If they fit, we can return them."

'I can't decide if I should go with Derek on a trip around the world on skateboards...or go with Joe and join a monastery in Tibet! What do you think?'

'I hate you Dad! All you've ever done is throw your time and love at me - you've never given me enough money.'

'Stand further away, the comparison's not doing you any good.'

'If it's so good, how come it's not on a T-shirt?'

The end of innocence

'I'm bored with having so much to do.'

'My teenage daughter!'

"It' not a turn signal. It's a nasty pimple."

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'Why do I have the felling that your parents don't trust me?'

"It looks like your son has problem skin."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

'She approaching the world record for 'Consecutive Hours on the Phone'.'

"Here comes the cutest girl in school! Quick! Act like you're not my parents!"

The breakfast of teens.

"...and I'm letting all me piercings grow back in."

"Well, time to do what we came here to do...our homework."

"Mum and Dad, I'd like you to meet Maurice, he's a salesman"

"Daddy, why do you always insist on wearing your karate suit when you meet any of my new boyfriends?!"

"Dad, this is totally the most important conversation ever!"

"There's nothing to eat!"

"So your dad trusts you to study with a girl in your room."

"Mom, I ripped and spilled bleach on my new jeans...they're perfect!"

"So...have you ever kissed a girl before?"

"It looks as though our baby has found another spot on her chin."

Biblical Teenager

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

"Relax, that was no explosion! My daughter texting at the speed of sound caused a sonic boom."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Not getting a text every 12 seconds doesn't mean the entire internet has collapsed."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Rapunzel's gone punk."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'I'm going to the grocery store.' - 'Not dressed like that you're not.'