Teenage Job Gifts

"So...do you have a job now?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Teenagers!'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are