Youth Worker Gifts

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

"Don't worry I speak fluent teenage."

"Frank, you don't have to dress like that to work in youth."

'I wouldn't worry too much about his communication skills....grunting is perfectly normal at his age!'

Snow Stab.

Don't do drugs and Don't sniff glue T-Shirts.

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"So...do you have a job now?"

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

The end of innocence

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

'Junior wrote his first memo today!'

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."