Teenage Job Pillows

"So...do you have a job now?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Modern Kids.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."