Youth Employment Pillows

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

"I wonder if I'd still have a paper route if I hadn't been born in the land of opportunity?"

"There aren't many jobs for teenagers these days."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

37 years in the same position.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

In and Out Sourced.

Between Offices

Work Slave

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"So...do you have a job now?"

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"Viola player coming through!"