Teen Work Pillows

'You'll never guess where I got a McJob.'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Three more years of high school."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"He's gone goth"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

PROBLEM AREAS

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"So...do you have a job now?"

Fishbowl rebellion.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Teenage Angst.

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'