Teenage Years Pillows

The last family vacation

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I think she's found a spot on her chin."

"Son, your mother and I think it's time we knew who you were."

"Don't worry, son. You're just at that awkward age."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Have you talked to Baldo about girls lately?"

"I'm pretty sure it's because we want the kind of girl...who doesn't want anything to do with guys like us."

"Maybe my standards are too high. I'm just looking for the perfect girl."

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

'You're wrong when you say that I couldn't give two hoots. Actually I couldn't even give one...'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"It's great! Dad's gonna hate it!"

Jesus As A Teenager Clears The Temple. . .

'Son, this is how we shave - take a clam shell, sharpen it with a rock...'

He's going through that rebellious stage.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "My son's expressing curiosity about... well... you know." "I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about... you know... without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and... you know." "I just want him to know how the... you know... works with the... you know... without making him want to go out and... you know." "Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day." "I don't know..."

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'Teenagers!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"He's gone goth"

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'