Teenage Advice Gifts

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

The Brothers Grime

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'We've created a teenager!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

Curious George, Dad

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

'I was a teenager once too, dear.'

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

"But, Mom, all my friends wear black...that's why we're so unique."

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "Being a high school student is literally killing me! I sit all day at school, and sit all evening doing my homework." "Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem." "Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway." "The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!"

'Honey, before you go out tonight, I would like to have a little chat with the prince of darkness.'

"Can Hilary come out to abstain from having sex?"

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

'It's making me happy.'

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."